the end. it is aLways AGAIN x

jyeah! so that's the end of the story AGAIN. i failed in love AGAIN. and I regret AGAIN. and AGAIN I really want to say this, I don't want to fall in love AGAIN.

should I say this? "I FREGGING REGRET FOR SAYING GOODBYE AND I FUCKING MISS YOU."

NO, that's the thing. but the main thing now is, I COULD NEVER MOVE ON.I mean like, I fucking love him so fregging much -_______________-' I know, stupid.He is really something that I should hold on to. Something that really could put a light on my fucking face. And now I have to let him go, wow. NOOOOOOOOO! It's like putting a fucking stone on my head. Look, I've been fighting with this fucking feelings and I really tried to hate him but you have no fucking idea how much I struggled just to keep my lips like this ---> (: but still inside of me chose to do this ---> ):Mannnn, I pretend to be happy so that he could see that I'm happy without him by my side.When I said, we will never be together anymore. I FUCKING LIED.I'm full with this shit ego inside of me and I just couldn't say it out. Fuckmylife. I hate this, I swear.It's fucking torturing me and I'm following the order. I don't even take any sleeping pills anymore eventho I know it's hard to sleep and rest while his in your head, running around like a song. Never leave. BUT I PUSH MY FUCKING EYES TO FORGET ABOUT IT AND GO SLEEP, TRUST ME IT'S USELESS, YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? I RE-READ ALL HIS OLD MSGS AND JUST IMAGINE HE'S SMILING AT ME LIKE HE ALWAYS DO. See, it hurts as fuck, CAN DIE I FUCKING SWEAR.

My god, mannnnn! Don't you know I'm currently suffering to death just because I couldn't fucking move on?I've been crying my tits off these days, I'm worried about you every fucking second.You have no idea how much I care about you. I might sound like over protective but seriously get the fuck off it, I don't give a shit. I JUST FUCKING LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU SEE THAT?
But what should I say? What can I do? The heart says what words can't explain itself.

Now you're gone, and there's someone trying to get into the line. But still, I can't keep my mind off you, this is fucked up. I miss you I guess ): But don't worry, I'll get over you. One day, one day, I will. I won't wash you away from my mind but I'll just live my life and our memories will be well kept in this little heart which always yours now and forever.

   syikow x