Bad days have been lingering around me lately and I couldn't really figure out what could chase it away. Bad feelings, bad thoughts, bad nights, bad days, everything is just bad and negative. I lost hope, faith and love. I could not rely on anyone else. I'm lost.
Lover, everything is slipping away from the story it used to be.
The people I've stated has completely sent a virtual bullet into my heart so freaking deep and badly. I could stand the pain from heartbreaking words but not actions. If words could break me, then put words and actions in one. It kills.
It hurts to know that every time you open your eyes in the morning, you will definitely go through another bad day, a very tedious day and you just feel like shutting your eyes forever. But it hurts even more knowing that you have to sleep at night with unsolved problems, unanswered questions, untold thoughts and mixed feelings. And it happens repeatedly, everyday.
I am dying to just end everything I'm facing right now. I am a very egoistic girl but believe it or not, I actually lowered down my ego, put aside my feelings and picked up every broken pieces of mine so that I can have the old days back. The days when I woke up knowing I am loved by someone and went to bed knowing someone is thinking of me. I am tired, so restless inside. I can feel its cracking, I can feel the pain is taking place on my chest and its beating me horrendously. All the deafening voices conquering my mind. Tears are probably my only best friend right now. I dont know until when I could stand this. But I know I am falling, I am breaking, I am dying.
I just want everything back to normal.
Syikow x
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